I decided to eat a bit today to keep myself from binging. Only a meal though.
And lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of drinks. I had a few bites of a veggie burger (sans un petit pain) with onion, tomato and pickle. I caved and had all of like, five fries, and maybe a sixth of a piece of angel food cake.
Even with the absolutely miniscule protions im having, I still feel really guilty.
She lives with a broken mind...
Update: Eric Forced me to eat a piece of coffee cake. I'm so angry.
And then guess what I did!
BINGED!
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
ihatemyself
FATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFAT
IHATEMYFATSELF
I really do. Really, and truly. I migh throw out all my food.
That sounds like a plan...
Fasting tomorrow.
I will do it.
I will.
I will.
I will.
First bridge to cross:
Stop fucking being PMS-y and bloated. You retain. EVERYFUCKINGTHING.
I'm talking six pounds water weight.
Second:
Quit breaking fast, Margaret! You're getting fatter by the second.
Third:
Get thin. Please oh please oh please pleas please be thin.
Food:
b-0
l- 1/8 veggie patty, five fries, 1/6 piece of angel food cake (71)
d-0
s-piece of coffe cake (390)
e-
total: 461
Love you,
Margie.
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hey you have so much will power and strenght, but I really think you should maybe eat a tiny bit more, just to kept your self healthy, I am happy for you hate you are so strong and you must be so proud, but I don't feel like I can encourage you to keep losing more weight becaus there is nothing left for you too lose
ReplyDeletexx
that is SO not that much food. our minds are warped from the fast. i was getting antsy and dizzy this morning and was like, better have a soda to fix that, but i'm not eating sugar, so what do i dooo? only THEN did i realize, oh, idiot, maybe you should EAT SOMETHING. that hadn't occurred to me before. weird.
ReplyDeleteand angel food cakes do not last 10 seconds in my presence. like, really. i can eat two whole cakes in half an hour. so i am impressed how little you ate!
LOVE xx x x