I am on my bed sobbingsobbingsobbing and shakingshakingshaking. I just went on the binge of the century. I just ate a whole bag of oreos, an entire loaf of bread smothered in butter and pasta sauce, a jar of pickles, and lots of other things that I don't remember eating.
I've given myself a migraine from ramming my fingers down my throat (rather pointlessly, because I'm puking nothing but diet coke and teeny little bits of bread) and I'm sure the entire fucking hall can hear me retching, 'cause Chairman Mao just gave me a call and said, "Would you keep it down? Some of us are trying to sleep over here, s'il vous plait!" And I just want to vomit until my stomach comes up with it so I can't ever eat again.
Earlier today, I quite purposefully scalded my tongue to keep myself from binging, but it didn't work, obviously.
I really don't know what to do. I HAVE to be thin. No matter what drastic measures it takes.
I know I say this almost every post, and everytime I mean it stronger and stronger.
I hate myself. I really and truly utterly loathe myself.