because we had a really bad storm and seven trees fell down on the road that he lives on and so did a multitude of power lines some which landed in front of erics driveway and all over the rest of the street and they got sparks everywhere and there were several fires (luckily not at eric's house)
but a tree fell on some guy's brand new car
it was his birthday present
but we stayed inside all night and talked about weird stuff
and i slept on the couch for awhile while eric wrote because the power was out
and every time i'd fall asleep all the way, eric would pull my toes and wake me up
then we got the generator running and we watched a movie
and im still trapped, jsut not at eric's
im trapped inside this giant body that doesnt belong to me
the one that belongs to me is buried under all the wreckage that has built up over the past six months and she's clawing and trying to dig her way out
im stuck in that really aggravating in-between of "i want to get through this" and "i want to stay wrapped up in the forever."
things have sucked lately. i havent had hardly any human contact outside of my family and A.
i had a pregnancy scare last week and spent my time crying and weighing my options (even though i knew that i really only had one because i couldnt get an abortion, and one look at the baby and i could give it up) but im not pregnant so i dont have to worry about it.
im rambling and confused and dont know what to do with myself and my time.