22 October 2009


Why do I always ruin my good days?
It's like there's a part of me that wants to fail.
At everything. I can't even starve right anymore.
It's this damn fucking chocolate craving I've been having (fuckyoumenstrualcycle) that's been my downfall.
Luckily (not exactly), I've since eaten all of my chocolate.
is what my minds screaming all the time.

I've been giving myself a good mental flogging for the past two days.

Love you always(hate me always).


  1. Please don't hate you. I understand, I have hated me (I wonder if I do still?), but I don't want you to.

  2. I don't hate you :)
    Don't beat yourself up too hard. I find that leads to thinking "fuck it" and then eating more.

    Hope you're ok :)

  3. The second-to-last (framed-looking one) is done by Stella Im Hultberg. All the rest are done by Esao Andews. Yes, they are very strangely fascinating, are they not? And perfectly descriptive - a little too so.

    I'm still not very sure at all, but your words were very very comforting, and very kind. Thank you, Margie.

  4. try freezing lo-cal chocolate pudding. it takes much longer to eat and doesn't do much damage.

    please don't critique yourself so hardly. from what i have read you are doing well .. just stay positive and focus on your goal.

    much love ..

  5. i love you. that picture is DISGUSTING. look at that every time you want to eat chocolate. your pictures from last post are wonderful. it's nice to go back and look at things that made you happy once, right? i wonder if we'll ever find that again. it's hard to say.

    i am clearly melancholy today. you can tell because i am writing in short choppy sentences. i think it's funny that my mood is completely reflected in my writing.

    obviously i cannot find words for you. i am sorry. you do not look like that picture. not even close. so do not worry. eat some chocolate and the craving will pass. and it's ok, you can starve properly, today is just not your day. there is always tomorrow.

    i love you. i will have nicer things to say later when i am not so hmm, whatevermoodthisisi'min. keep your head up, ok?