Oh boy. Have I eaten today, or what?
I ended my fast today. And I am eating. Kind of like a normal person.
I really really really really really really want to purge. I'm very uncomfortably full right now. I feel sick and sleepy. Because I've lost my sense of sensible eating, so my eating like a normal person is hurried binging, like if I don't get every bite of food in front of me down in five minutes, someone is going to steal it.
I'm not going to count calories during this time, because I know that I'll probably totally and comepletely lose it and purgepurgepurgepurge. Which I am dying to do right about now....
I'm going out to dinner lately, and then to the State Fair after that. The chances I will binge are EXTREMELY high. Ugh.
I'm feeling incredible shaky and scared. I can feel myself becoming nasty and doughy already. Who knows how long this will last.
b- 2 chocolate croissants, pumpkin spice latte
l- jimmy johns veggie sub
d- tortilla soup
s- french fries, 1/2 a funnel cake
More than I normally eat in two days in two meals. OHMYGODIMGOINGTOFREAKINGDIEOHMYGOD
Love you always,