Today's been pretty shitty for such a pretty, fasting, light, light, light day.
When I weighed today, I was 90.3. Lowest ever. In a way, I'm beaming with pride, but I'm also slightly disgusted with myself. I have no idea why. It's like I want to keep shrinking, but it make me sick to do this to myself. But it makes me sicker when I don't. Im just really confused right now, I guess.
There's a chance I could be in the eighties by tomorrow. Woohoo?
I end my fast on Saturday. But I might keep going. I think I'll just see how I'm feeling. I'll keep on fasting, but then if I really have to eat, I'll have a salad or something.
I feel absolutely horrible right now. I want to shrivel up and disappear forever. Maybe I will one of these days.
One of these days...
So new weight means new stats and a new weight goal. One that kind of scares me.
Stats:
weight- 90.3lbs.
bmi- 16.3
gw- 86lbs.
When I weighed today, I was 90.3. Lowest ever. In a way, I'm beaming with pride, but I'm also slightly disgusted with myself. I have no idea why. It's like I want to keep shrinking, but it make me sick to do this to myself. But it makes me sicker when I don't. Im just really confused right now, I guess.
There's a chance I could be in the eighties by tomorrow. Woohoo?
I end my fast on Saturday. But I might keep going. I think I'll just see how I'm feeling. I'll keep on fasting, but then if I really have to eat, I'll have a salad or something.
I feel absolutely horrible right now. I want to shrivel up and disappear forever. Maybe I will one of these days.
One of these days...
So new weight means new stats and a new weight goal. One that kind of scares me.
Stats:
weight- 90.3lbs.
bmi- 16.3
gw- 86lbs.
Tummy today... a little bloated from all the water I've been drinking. I still want to be thinner...I have to be thinner.
Love you,
Margie.
i get it. i totally get it. every single thing that you said. seriously. confusion is the name of this game. i feel thin and fat and disgusted and compulsed to continue all at once.
ReplyDeleteby the way, did i mention, HOLYCRAPJESUSLOOKHOWTHINYOUARE!! ?
yes it's true.
i am having a shitty shitty fasting day too. hungry as a thousand hippos. cranky and just want to curl in a ball and throw blankets over my head. and i feel skinny and doughy all at once. confusion, there you are again. what a surprise.
but we are almost done! you should not continue fasting forever because 1. you will end up bingeing or 2. you will pass out or 3. your metabolism, if not already, will grind to a screeching halt. so eat a little on saturday, ok?
we will be pretty someday. i swear it. we are almost there.
LOVE you xxx