13 October 2009

Even More Frustration.

Today, I fainted and had to eat. FML.

So yeah. I fainted around mid-afternoon. It's nothing that unusual for me, because I'm a "fainter," as one might say. I have vaso-vagal hypo tension (low blood pressure), hypoglycemia (low bloodsugar), etc. So I blamed the faint on the vaso-vagal, drank some orange juice and felt fine. But, then a certain suspicious friend sat me down and forced me to have dinner, which I planned on going back and attempting to puke up. So, I went back; I got in the shower, and began to put all my purging research to use. I could feel it working, until my roomate came into the bathroom. And sat on the toilet and asked me about my day.

Why do I have to retch so fucking loud? UGH!

So continuing juice fast tomorrow. Or, restarting.


I hope things start to get better. I can see the weight I've put on.

Love you,


  1. Oooo, she's good. I do NOT like her.

    I don't even know. She probably feels like a saint on a super difficult and spy-like mission that she has the potential to puzzle out, and therefore the obligation, as your friend and all.

    Not to mention, what's more interesting than a real, live anorexic/bulimic for your roommate, starving right before your very eyes! And she's going to be the good friend to do her very best and stop you before you kill yourself. I think that may be what she's telling herself, at any rate. I think that kind of thought process might have much allure to the sort of person she seems to be.

  2. fainting is actually a GOOD reason to eat. there are good reasons to eat and bad reasons to eat. i am sure you know about all the bad reasons to eat. but fainting is one of the good ones! i am glad someone made you eat and you couldn't purge. oh wait, that sounded horrible, didn't it? only because i don't want you to die. also there is NO POSSIBLE way for you to see the weight you put on. unless it's still undigested in your stomach. in which case it's not real weight. so DON'T PANIC!

    IT'S OK! you can start the juice fast over! i had 1700 calories of beverage yesterday and GAINED a half a pound, so i feel like i failed too. so we will have a start-over day today. there are still a few days to go! we can make it! i am going to cut back to like 500 calories of beverage today, hopefully. that better FUCKING work. i have HAD it. i MUST MUST be 96 by Saturday. or else.

    umm, no more fainting, ok? we will make it through this juice fast together. :D

    LOVE and LOVE and STRENGTH (for not passing out!). je t'aime. tu es magnifique et intelligente et adorable!