Today, I woke up, took the SAT, took a nap, watched a movie about Maya Lin (which was quite good, actually) in Art History, did some homework, took another nap and wrote in my blog. I plan on taking another nap after this post. And then waking up and working more and then going right back to sleep.
I think I'm having the most exciting day ever. I should be put in the history books.
But- breaking news- I don't even want food today. At all.
I've been drinking lots of weird juices today. I had orange juice for breakfast, and tomato juice for lunch. I had some pickle juice for a snack, and if you like pickles, you should try drinking the juice (sparingly, otherwise you'll become quite ill) because it's incredibly filling. I'm having an odd craving for carrot juice. And fresh marinara sauce. Yum.
Anyways, I haven't got much to say today, because today I am mostly lethargic and don't know what I'm thinking, because I'm not thinking anything. Except for carrot juice. Sweet, sweet carrot juice.
It's freezing cold today, and drizzly.
Love you always,
Margie.
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the thoughts and whims of a little girl whose only wish was to shrink
About Me
- Margaret.
- I'm seventeen, and trying hard but never hard enough to become absolutely nothing.
CURRENT STATS.
- height: 5' 2.5"
- HW: 120lbs.
- LW: ~88lbs.
- SW:109
- CW: 102lbs.
- GW1: 107lbs. [ x ]
- GW2: 105lbs. [ x ]
- GW3: 103lbs. [ x ]
- GW4: 99lbs. [ ]
- UGW: 95lbs. [ ]
Pretty Little People
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October
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- Mehmehmeh.
- Today.
- Tranformation.
- I Am Doomed
- Stats.
- Sinking.
- Tear Me to Shreds.
- The Bear.
- Boring.
- It's Getting Cold; I Think We Should Go
- BINGEBINGE
- Descending.
- A Lot More Than Melancholy.
- Six pounds.
- SUCCESS
- I cannot take this much longer. I am fat and gooey...
- My Stomach Really Might Rupture.
- Manic Manic Manic Manic Manic
- Let The Weight Gain Diet Begin.
- Freaking Dammit..but This Could Work Out Well.
- Cold.
- Even More Frustration.
- (Insert The Saddest Pathetic Sqeak of a Noise Ever...
- Binging.
- Post Fast Photos.
- Um, Excuse Me? What?!
- Meh.
- Oh No. Please, Please, Please God, No: Reasons Why...
- Some Stupid Rant.
- New Beginning
- Stupid boy.
- Sprinkles
- What?
- Made Of Dust
- And They Become Dust
- But Bricks Break and Crumble.
- Made Of Bricks
- Mothers Do As Mothers Will.
- Fast Fest, day five.
- Fast Fest, day four, part two: The Great Fall
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October
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Thank you for your comment. I'm at a melancholy moment, but not too low to deal or function; I'm not going to burst into tears any moment. So as long as I can keep treading water, I'm fine.
ReplyDeleteAnd sometimes, when I'm at this lower point, the world is more beautiful. Do you know what I mean? It is so much more painfully lovely. As if there tiny love-letters placed in secluded corners all around, from God, but I don't notice them unless I am more heavy-hearted. Then I am more aware of them. The infinitesimal white flower that survived a lawn-mowing. A dragon-fly's wings. The process of DNA transcription. A friend's hug. A difficult concept in class that finally makes sense.
Those things, I can appreciate them better when despondent. But I need a break, too. No one can take sadness for very long. It wears heavy on you, of course. So I am very ready for my period of peace when it comes.
I hope you get to feeling at peace, yourself, Margie. And I hope you enjoy your juices! Stay warm, and much, much love.
Oh, and I knew the moment I found that photograph that I would be using it in the near future (I found it a few days ago). And here I am making this post, and I remembered I had it. How perfect is this? It is the most perfect photo, because it is the best description for what I am visualizing in my head, basically. The "inch-sized pieces of my body coming apart." Yup. That's what it feels like if I get too hyper, too wired, too much energy. You can bet I don't drink coffee, much less will I ever do speed!
ReplyDelete(P.S. Would you EVER believe it if I told you when I was younger, as in 4, I was ADHD/ADD? But it was a reaction to fluoride poisoning/overdose from my old pediatrician. I grew out of it.)