30 September 2009

To My Stomach:

I am getting quite a few noise complaints from the neighbors.
You really enjoy attention, don't you? So, now that I can't feel you being hungry, you have to go and scream about it. If you don't quiet down, drastic meaures will be taken.
Please shut the hell up.
Thank you kindly.
Your landlady,

1 comment:

  1. i LOVE this!

    here is mine:

    dearest stomach,
    please be advised that we are aware of the fact that your intestinal lining rubbing together WILL NOT KILL YOU. therefore, kindly refrain from making it seem like a larger issue than it is. five days empty will not do any damage. that sick feeling you have? that's a necessary side effect. WE ARE ON TO YOU. so please stop telling the rest of the body to get dizzy every time it stands up. we are not in the business of being overly dramatic.
    sincerely yours,

    WE ARE MORE THAN HALFWAY THROUGH! piece of cake now. or rather, NOT a piece of cake! no cake for us, thank you very much! we are pure and empty and light. :D