23 December 2009


Last night, I went to one of my absolute favorite places. It's just a little old bar that has lately become inhabited with a disgusting amount of thirteen year old scene kids, but I love it almost more than any other place in the world. My best friend drums for this really kind of awful generic pop punk band, and they had a show last night that was really great. I went aprehensively last night, because I knew I'd see the one guy who probably still knows how to rip me right down to the core and smash what's left to pieces, and even just seeing him is hard. He plays bass for the same band. I had my first drink since may when I decided to stop drinking. I'm not very proud of that. Anyways, The first bits of the show were really upsetting for me, I kept thinking to myself, god he looks so good and happy, too. He was just up there playing his bass like he used to when I still existed. He'd look at me occasionally, expressionless, or frowning,and everytime was like he was trying to suck my soul out.
We left after that set, a group of seven I think, to go smoke at the hookah bar downtown by the university. I rode with W, a guy I met a few nights before at my other friends party. We sat next to each other at the bar, which is outside. It was freezing. He gave me his jacket, and then went to the car to get my jacket. I didn't have to ask. Everyone except for me, W, and this other guy, C, left to go to some party. The three of us went to McDonalds. W bought me a Diet Coke, after insisting on getting me something and insisting that I don't need to be drinking diet. We sat in there for a long time, until C had to leave. W asked me if I'd like to see a movie with him, and I said yes, so I guess I have a date today. We just rode around for a really long time after that, and we talked. We both love Classical and Folk music and NPR and Bob Dylan. He says he'd go gay for Sting, and I realized that I know exactly who Sting is and what he looks like and all, but I have no clue what his music sounds like. He said he'll bring a CD for me. He walked me to the door when he dropped me off, which hasn't happened to me before I don't think. He gave me a peck on the cheek goodnight and left. I've had this little slight smile on my face since. And I think I'll be happy for a while.
Love you all,


  1. That is some really good news!! =) Enjoy him a lot!
    And you should totally listen to The Police or something just by Sting... The Police totally rocks!!!!!!! ;)
    Hugs and kisses from Buenos Aires,
    J. (And merry xmas!)

  2. Awesome news! I would also go gay for Sting, if I were a man. Mmm... I'm not sure what the majority of his music sounds like either, though I do like the one or two songs by him that I have heard. He sounds like a chivalrous guy. Very respectable.
    I hope things go well with your date! I'm sure you'll keep us all posted.

    Keep smiling, btw :P


  3. My mom always makes fun of me for liking Sting! Haha. Well more for liking The Police; I actually don't know much of Sting's solo stuff but I do love the Police.

    This post is so weirdly related to various occurrences in my life that it's almost creepy!

  4. Oh yeah and lookbook is definitely an amazing source of thinspo. It's cool that you're on there. : )

  5. Do you know what's fucking WEIRD?
    When I read this post the first time it reminded me tremendously of this bar in Columbia, SC and then I just looked at your profile and it says you're from SC? HOW WEIRD MAYBE IT'S THE SAME ONE? Hahahahaha.

    If so, it would be kind of terrible if that one bar had the distinct reputation of being overcrowded with miniature scene kids. Haha.