tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20993005747595346672024-03-13T14:22:01.304-07:00Her Lovely Bones.the thoughts and whims of a little girl whose only wish was to shrinkMargaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.comBlogger200125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-30321024909212181202010-12-24T19:50:00.000-08:002010-12-24T19:52:14.485-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">i somehow managed to only eat 640 cals today</div><div style="text-align: center;">280 of them were m&m's </div><div style="text-align: center;">jesus</div><div style="text-align: center;">although i burned about 475</div><div style="text-align: center;">so around 170 total today</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">merry christmas all</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-80897356794048220352010-12-22T21:17:00.001-08:002010-12-22T21:19:42.668-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">im so confused and my brain is so money</div><div style="text-align: center;">i want to swear off love for good so i can not have to deal with this</div><div style="text-align: center;">i just hate not knowing what i feel</div><div style="text-align: center;">or who i feel it for</div><div style="text-align: center;">god i just hate everything</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">i did really badly as of food today</div><div style="text-align: center;">704 cals 31g fat</div><div style="text-align: center;">fuck everything</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-39927379649446190002010-12-22T13:36:00.000-08:002010-12-22T13:37:29.996-08:00shameless self promotion<div style="text-align: center;">new blog</div><div style="text-align: center;">tumblr </div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://becomingthesmallone.tumblr.com/">http://becomingthesmallone.tumblr.com/</a></div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-7734496961851081732010-12-16T19:36:00.000-08:002010-12-16T19:38:22.009-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">so a and i are done for good</div><div style="text-align: center;">i ate an entire bowl of cookie dough earlier</div><div style="text-align: center;">i cant get it up</div><div style="text-align: center;">why cant i ever let myself just be happy</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-23706770509052316162010-12-14T18:44:00.000-08:002010-12-14T18:45:29.472-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">when the fuck will i ever be good enough?</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-84265696824161044552010-12-11T21:38:00.000-08:002010-12-11T21:43:24.846-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">today i didn't touch food until i ate dinner with a</div><div style="text-align: center;">i ate 153 calories worth of chicken</div><div style="text-align: center;">and a 5 graham crackers and 3/4 of a fortune cookie</div><div style="text-align: center;">coming to a grand total of 264 calories</div><div style="text-align: center;">but my fat intake was ridiculous, 9.1g</div><div style="text-align: center;">today was okay</div><div style="text-align: center;">i went to my friend's poetry reading tonight</div><div style="text-align: center;">he did so well</div><div style="text-align: center;">he wrote about luke, and i tried not to bawl my eyes out</div><div style="text-align: center;">i wish i could have a copy of it, because the last two lines are so wonderful</div><div style="text-align: center;">but anyways</div><div style="text-align: center;">i love you guys</div><div style="text-align: center;">and im tired.</div><div style="text-align: center;">time to go to bed.</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-91858617652409862512010-12-10T21:12:00.001-08:002010-12-10T21:14:13.464-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">it had to happen sometime</div><div style="text-align: center;">i cant do well with my eating for this long and not have a binge</div><div style="text-align: center;">fuck christmas parties and all your sweets</div><div style="text-align: center;">but yeah</div><div style="text-align: center;">my roommate is here, so i cant purge or exercise</div><div style="text-align: center;">fucking kill me</div><div style="text-align: center;">i feel disgusting</div><div style="text-align: center;">i need to get rid of this</div><div style="text-align: center;">fuck fuck fuck</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-77009723432246202132010-12-09T20:53:00.001-08:002010-12-09T20:57:39.105-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">good intake day today,</div><div style="text-align: center;">well calories-wise anyway the food itself was junk</div><div style="text-align: center;">everything else was kinda just shit</div><div style="text-align: center;">except for my painting class that is never really shit</div><div style="text-align: center;">but its cold as hell</div><div style="text-align: center;">all i want to do is sleep</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>sleep sleep sleep</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;">b-0</div><div style="text-align: center;">l-0</div><div style="text-align: center;">d- easy mac, 220, 3g</div><div style="text-align: center;">s- 1/2 oatmeal cookie, 73, 4.1</div><div style="text-align: center;">32 min pilates, -89</div><div style="text-align: center;">total: 204, 7.1g</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">love, margie</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-48777924992864015092010-12-07T21:11:00.001-08:002010-12-07T21:16:39.145-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">god i hate hunger pains</div><div style="text-align: center;">but thanks to my new best friend the diet pill, my appetite is nonexistant</div><div style="text-align: center;">im nice and alert</div><div style="text-align: center;">i feel on top of the world</div><div style="text-align: center;">but so fat that i might fall right through the floor</div><div style="text-align: center;">and keep falling until i hit that lava</div><div style="text-align: center;">and melt away forever</div><div style="text-align: center;">i just dont get how i could feel so good but so horrible at the same time</div><div style="text-align: center;">im confused.</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-17800705666901715752010-12-07T10:00:00.000-08:002010-12-07T10:01:46.727-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">today i rediscovered the joys of chewing and spitting.</div><div style="text-align: center;">oh. my. god. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>i am in<b> heaven</b>(hell)</i></div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-72254657638051143772010-12-06T04:54:00.000-08:002010-12-06T04:57:43.529-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">im just so tired</div><div style="text-align: center;">i can hardly sit or speak</div><div style="text-align: center;">if only i could sleep for the rest of this year</div><div style="text-align: center;">just go back into hibernation</div><div style="text-align: center;">until everything is over</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">i ate so little, and exercised so much yesterday</div><div style="text-align: center;">im achey and moody </div><div style="text-align: center;">i still have homework to do and i have class in thirty minutes</div><div style="text-align: center;">so much apathy</div><div style="text-align: center;">too much to handle</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-850690448741369662010-12-04T18:44:00.000-08:002010-12-04T18:46:05.762-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">a and i are taking a break</div><div style="text-align: center;">ten months</div><div style="text-align: center;">ten months</div><div style="text-align: center;">im sorry im crazy</div><div style="text-align: center;">im sorry i cant communicate</div><div style="text-align: center;">im sorry i asked too much of you</div><div style="text-align: center;">im sorry</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>this is all my fault</i></div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-24305390880845209122010-12-04T07:17:00.000-08:002010-12-04T07:25:45.616-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">so they called. and all they asked me was if i had any questions.</div><div style="text-align: center;">i said i didnt really have any.</div><div style="text-align: center;">crisis averted. thats me for ya, freaking out over nothing like that.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">in lighter news, i only ate 430 cals and 8g fat yesterday, and my roommate has been bringing me diet pills. they work like a dream. they don't make me too shaky, but they give me a little pep, and they make me not want to eat. its great.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">b-diet coke, 0</div><div style="text-align: center;">l- 3/4 wrap, 1 tsp honey mustard, 208, 4.12g</div><div style="text-align: center;">d- 3/4 hummus sandwich, sugar free jello, 158, 3.75g</div><div style="text-align: center;">s- 4 now and laters, 52.8, .04g</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">--margie</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-11029934868169873062010-12-03T09:41:00.000-08:002010-12-03T09:45:14.518-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">for some reason two days ago i called an inpatient treatment center</div><div style="text-align: center;">i dont know what came over me</div><div style="text-align: center;">theyre going to call me this afternoon</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">im too fat for treatment anyways</div><div style="text-align: center;">im gargantuan. </div><div style="text-align: center;">theyll probably just laugh when i say "five feet two inches, one hundred and four pounds"</div><div style="text-align: center;">thats too fat for treatment</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">i dont know what to do or what to say</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">i dont want this</div><div style="text-align: center;">i dont want to get better</div><div style="text-align: center;">im not ready to admit defeat</div><div style="text-align: center;">im not ready</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-34125098883083630892010-11-25T07:01:00.000-08:002010-11-25T07:02:02.781-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">how are people planning to not blow up today?</div><div style="text-align: center;">i hate thanksgiving.</div><div style="text-align: center;">i hate food.</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-53915068749225450852010-11-24T20:42:00.001-08:002010-11-24T20:46:47.973-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">i havent been able to write in so long it feels like</div><div style="text-align: center;">that damn school internet block blocks my blog for some reason.</div><div style="text-align: center;">ive been so in between things</div><div style="text-align: center;">same as ever</div><div style="text-align: center;">i just want to be back fully stuck in my ways</div><div style="text-align: center;">starving and cold and cranky</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-24338388891561134402010-10-17T07:21:00.001-07:002010-10-17T07:21:46.929-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">i just want to be thin again</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-66111418467460376232010-10-15T06:31:00.000-07:002010-10-15T06:41:10.137-07:00<div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center; ">i have completely fucked up my metabolism. its like non existent.</div><div style="text-align: center; ">i realized that even on a regular day, i only eat about 1250 calories a day. that's basically what i have eat to keep a consistant weight. drives me crazy.</div><div style="text-align: center; ">but one thing i am finding is that there is no better thinspo than looking at pictures of youself when you were thin.</div></div><div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZw_RCCPI/AAAAAAAAAJw/G3mNemfkN6c/s1600/year.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 198px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZw_RCCPI/AAAAAAAAAJw/G3mNemfkN6c/s320/year.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528267240748746994" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZrrHMOYI/AAAAAAAAAJo/8WFYPdI6hac/s1600/Photo_00018.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZrrHMOYI/AAAAAAAAAJo/8WFYPdI6hac/s320/Photo_00018.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528267149439416706" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZlI-CXAI/AAAAAAAAAJg/6y-7Zru6XZk/s1600/Photo_00013.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZlI-CXAI/AAAAAAAAAJg/6y-7Zru6XZk/s320/Photo_00013.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528267037195000834" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZeMPKT9I/AAAAAAAAAJY/ZroVQohaCsU/s1600/october09_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 229px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZeMPKT9I/AAAAAAAAAJY/ZroVQohaCsU/s320/october09_.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528266917813047250" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZPpmZK7I/AAAAAAAAAJQ/_-1Q17-r6Xc/s1600/3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 272px; height: 272px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZPpmZK7I/AAAAAAAAAJQ/_-1Q17-r6Xc/s320/3.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528266667997080498" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZKlkbMDI/AAAAAAAAAJI/aQjOdpw9DK8/s1600/2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 272px; height: 272px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6dR8HDek9vA/TLhZKlkbMDI/AAAAAAAAAJI/aQjOdpw9DK8/s320/2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528266581015736370" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">love,</div><div style="text-align: center;">margie</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-87053849906257980662010-10-12T21:30:00.000-07:002010-10-12T21:31:05.944-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">fuck binges</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-27940075073332742112010-10-12T05:35:00.000-07:002010-10-12T05:37:59.204-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">i've been doing okay, sunday i had 1100 calories, but i worked out and burned 200.</div><div style="text-align: center;">yesterday i cut back to 750, and went 50 over. hopfeully today i'll be able to stay well under 750. but so far, so good.</div><div style="text-align: center;">wish me luck.</div><div style="text-align: center;">margie.</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-5880587147159931132010-10-10T06:18:00.001-07:002010-10-10T06:18:37.446-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">woke up hungry for the first time in months.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>yes.</i></div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-9198154950452621412010-10-09T18:31:00.000-07:002010-10-09T18:37:45.547-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">today was half decent.</div><div style="text-align: center;">i took the sat this morning, and then just laid around and got fatter.</div><div style="text-align: center;">i managed to stay under 1000 calories today. i hope to keep continuously cutting back.</div><div style="text-align: center;">this coming week i want to stay at 750 or less, and cut back 250 a week.</div><div style="text-align: center;">taking it slow.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>baby steps.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">b-nature valley bar (190)</div><div style="text-align: center;">l-burrito and chips (352)</div><div style="text-align: center;">d- eel roll and spring roll (476)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">trying to do better. would love some tips, help anything you have.</div><div style="text-align: center;">much love.</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-89066711676832263882010-10-08T19:54:00.000-07:002010-10-08T19:59:22.878-07:00i love you guys<div style="text-align: center;">thanks for all the support</div><div style="text-align: center;">and seriously, i need help.</div><div style="text-align: center;">im ENORMOUS. like huge. </div><div style="text-align: center;">and crohn's or not, its time to get back on the fucking skinny wagon.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>no more fat margie.</i></div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-625172964319833532010-09-14T15:31:00.000-07:002010-09-14T16:03:55.118-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">Apparently I have Crohn's Disease. And a whole slew of new prescriptions. </div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2099300574759534667.post-90016848262834851102010-09-12T05:36:00.000-07:002010-09-12T05:43:21.486-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">so tests came back this morning. both of the infections (the curable ones) came back negative. my doctor asked me to weigh myself everyday in the morning. i've lost about six pounds in the past few days. and for the first time in nearly two years, im not happy about it. im so angry at myself. and im in so much pain. i just dont know what to do.</div>Margaret.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09323603226022982216noreply@blogger.com0