14 April 2010

Well Hello Fatty

So I tried putting on my favorite pair of shorts from last summer (which were a touch big) this morning.
They wouldn't zip.


  1. shit.
    i hope you look on the bright side and take it as a huge inspiration-motivation to get back there.

    wishing you luck.

  2. it can always come off again, you can always lose it again, it's all right.

    also? can we look at this as a sign that you are healthier? happier? i don't know if you are or if you aren't but not concerning weight, otherwise, how ARE you?

    because i was realizing as i was sitting here thinking about going to pick up my friend from the airport who i haven't seen in a long time and who also has food issues and who says she is obese now, and how it will look to her and how she will feel about me being 96 lbs, that in my case at least being skinny (while delightful to me) means that i am not ok, that i am not healthy, that i am an emotional wreck. sometimes weight is merely an indicator. i love being skinny. i want to be skinnier. but i am also recognizing that being skinny and wanting to be skinnier really just means that i am a mental health disaster, and that's not good.

    so yeah. i don't know. good luck parsing through that insane embedded sentence up there. i don't know if that helps you at all. i've just been thinking a lot, sitting here in the sunlight. and i love you. and i want you to love yourself whether you are 80 lbs or 105, whether those shorts fall off you or won't zip.

    also, don't panic. you can always lose it again.

    xx x