29 March 2010

Two Things

I'll start with the bad first:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

My weight has SKYROCKETED.

The good:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I finally got into the last stages of designing my next tattoo. It looks exponentially better in person, trust me. I'll try and get a better quality picture. I should have the actual tattoo half-way finished hopefully by mid-December. It still needs a bit of tweaking, epecially the lilies.
But, I've found an absolutely incredible artist to do it, even though he charges A LOT. I'm talking $100 an hour, and the black and white parts of this are supposed to take anywhere from 2-4 hours. Hopefully I can come up with that kind of money by then.
But I'm willing to pay a lot for it, because it means a whole hell of a lot to me.

The Lilies of the Valley are for returned happiness, or at least the hope of returned happiness.
The branch of thorns that the sparrow is perched on represent pain, but they also represent protection and strength.
The sparrow is a chipping sparrow, and I chose this particular type of sparrow for its colouring. I knew that I wanted a bird, to represent freedom from abuse. So I chose a sparrow, because of a song, "Little Sparrow," by Dolly Parton that I grew up listening to. I can't really put to words how perfectly it fits with parts of the emotional and mental abuse that he put me through.

I'm free from him now, and I hope, I hope, I hope, that he has made me stronger.

Here's the song. You should take a listen.

Love you all.


  1. i am so so so so so so so so so so so SO happy you are back! i have missed you like none other. i think we have kind of flopped because now i'm 96 lbs and you're 106. which i don't mean to be braggy but i mean as saying that you can lose it again if you want. or you can stay where you are. sometimes happiness means letting go. letting go of him (of which i am so proud of you :D), or letting of of the ED. i am still struggling. i am literally not able to eat because of finding out all the things that were done to me as a child (emotionally/intellectually/physically/etc.) and it is a wreck of a time. i hope you are happier. i think your tattoo is BEAUTIFUL.

    LOVE times 10,000 xx x

  2. That tattoo is beautiful.