I keep hiatus-ing

I haven't been able to write much, or restrict much. A absolutely won't let me. He notices every time and tells me to, "eat, spidermonkey!" He's so wonderful though. Really, really wonderful. Which is a problem, because I might be starting to fall in love with him, and I'm trying not to let myself, and I'm trying to be realistic. And he says he isn't ready to be in love yet, which upsets me, because I feel like it's my fault, like I'm not lovable, and I hope it's not that, and it's been bugging me all week. I don't know what to think because I'm upset right now.