i somehow managed to only eat 640 cals today

280 of them were m&m's

jesus

although i burned about 475

so around 170 total today

merry christmas all

im so confused and my brain is so money

i want to swear off love for good so i can not have to deal with this

i just hate not knowing what i feel

or who i feel it for

god i just hate everything

i did really badly as of food today

704 cals 31g fat

fuck everything

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tumblr

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so a and i are done for good

i ate an entire bowl of cookie dough earlier

i cant get it up

why cant i ever let myself just be happy

when the fuck will i ever be good enough?

today i didn't touch food until i ate dinner with a

i ate 153 calories worth of chicken

and a 5 graham crackers and 3/4 of a fortune cookie

coming to a grand total of 264 calories

but my fat intake was ridiculous, 9.1g

today was okay

i went to my friend's poetry reading tonight

he did so well

he wrote about luke, and i tried not to bawl my eyes out

i wish i could have a copy of it, because the last two lines are so wonderful

but anyways

i love you guys

and im tired.

time to go to bed.

it had to happen sometime

i cant do well with my eating for this long and not have a binge

fuck christmas parties and all your sweets

but yeah

my roommate is here, so i cant purge or exercise

fucking kill me

i feel disgusting

i need to get rid of this

fuck fuck fuck